Worldwide Church of God: Herbie and the Dragon

I just ate dinner in a Chinese restaurant tonight and studied the paper place mat with the 12-year Chinese zodiac printed on it. Just for fun, I thought I'd see what the stars had in store for old Herbie. He was born in July, 1892, so that means he was born in the year of the ....

No joke. Good old Herbert the Pervert was a dragon boy. In Chinese astrology, the dragon is considered lucky. He was certainly a lucky guy. He ended up making hundreds of millions of dollars of tax-free scammed money. His birth was certainly lucky for him, but not very lucky for the hundred thousand people whom he scammed.

In Biblical symbolism, of course, the dragon is synonymous with Satan. Your website is chock full of info showing the Satanic things he perpetrated on others.

Back to my place mat. Here is what it says for dragon dudes: "Robust and passionate, your life is filled with complexity. Compatible with the monkey. Your opposite is the dog." Was he robust? Yes. He overate, overdrank, overmasturbated, overharangued, and generally overindulged himself in every conceivable way, yet he still managed to live to the ripe old age of 93. You have to be robust to punish your body (the way he told us not to) for so long and stay alive. Was he passionate? Of course. He would yell and scream at people for the slightest of reasons. As it says somewhere on this marvelous website, he had a "filthy temper". Was his life filled with complexity? Oh, for sure. No one had any clue he had incested his daughter for ten years until shortly before his long-overdue death. Most church members practically worshipped that selfish hypocrite.

Was he compatible with the monkey? Back to the place mat to see what it says about the year of the monkey: "Persuasive and intelligent, you strive to excel. Compatible with the dragon and the rat; your opposite is the tiger." Was he persuasive? Well, did he persuade us to become true believers, to give our mind, heart, and soul to him as well as empty our wallets for him time and time again, or what? He sure had me hooked. Was he intelligent? Well, even the Chinese astrologers can't win 'em all. But he conned most of us true believers into thinking he was intelligent. Did he strive to excel? Yes, and he sure did excel at stealing, lying, drinking, keeping a journal of all the times he masturbated, etc.

Was his opposite the dog? The place mat has this to say about the year of the dog: "Generous and loyal, you have the ability to work well with others. Compatible with the horse and tiger; your opposite is the dragon." Was he generous? Not to people in need. He was generous with his top-level minions. He gave them huge salaries, free shopping sprees paid for by loyal tithers, and bribed them bigtime to keep pumping out the poisonous mind control to make us keep on tithing. When did he give any help to the widows and fatherless? He was not generous where it counts. Was he loyal? He was loyal to himself only. Was he loyal to those under him? Did he set up nice retirement plans for the thousands of employees and fulltime ministers? No. Was he loyal to his top henchmen? Somewhere on this website it says that he named J. W. T-cash his successor because he knew T-cash was an incompetent nobody, and thus HWA's reputation as the GREAT LEADER would never be tarnished even after his death. So he wasn't loyal with any other people. How about his own children? Was he loyal to them? He incested one daughter for ten years; he pushed one son until he died as a result of an auto accident because he was out "doing the Work"; he banished his other son. Loyal? Get real. Did he have the ability to work well with others? You mean the ones he would scream at with his filthy temper whenever they would suggest doing something that was not according to the will of Herbie? Did he work well with the religious people with whom he associated in Oregon before they defrocked him and he decided to move to California to start over with the membership list he had stolen from them? Gimme a break. He was a fat, little Stalin wannabe.

So maybe the Chinese astrologers know what they are doing. Or maybe it's all just a big coincidence.

For what it's worth, and maybe all it's worth is having a little laugh at ourselves for being so gullible that we could be taken in by that snake who sold us all his rancid snake oil for so long.

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