Questions For Bible-Thumpers
The following are questions I have about the Bible
and Christianity
I've asked most of them of folks who have written to
complain about my site. I have not yet received adequate
answers. I realize that not all Christians are
Bible-thumpers, and not all Bible-thumpers believe
exactly the same thing. When answering these questions,
feel free to skip those which do not apply to you. It
might be helpful to explain why a certain question does
not apply, but it's not required.
The KJV Bible as the literal word of God:
There are no questions in this section, because I
don't consider it worthwhile discussing things with
people who actually believe that God spoke to Moses in
Elizabethan English. For The KJV Bible to be the literal
word of God, that's exactly what would have had to have
happened, that's what literal means: exactly, word for
word, what someone said.
The Bible as the word of God:
Where in the bible, if
anywhere, Does the Bible say it is the Word of God?
How do you know this
applies to the Bible as we know it today, and not some
other collection of books? For example, how do you know
it refers to the gospels of John, Mark, Luke and
Matthew, and not the gospel of Simon, Thomas, and Peter?
What's to keep someone from writing whatever they want,
or altering existing stories to fit their need, then
using this passage to prove God wrote it? Today, of
course, we could compare with other versions of the
Bible, but what about hundreds or thousands of years
ago? Did God correct the mistakes and strike down the
blasphemers? Depending on your answer to the last
question, tell me how you feel about the fact that this
page was typed by God himself. Jim's name is just on it
for legal reasons. By the way: I, your Creator, say
you're a poop head, the Bible is bogus, and you should
send Jim 10% of your gross income.
The Bible, The Koran,
The Book of Mormon, and other books are supposedly the
word of God. Many other works are supposedly inspired by
God, gods, god-like aliens from the Pleiades, etc. Why
should I accept your favorite, and not one of the
others? If God has personally told you that the Bible is
His word, why should this out-weigh his personal
communication to me saying that it isn't?
Biblical Inerrancy:
I claim that the
Bible contains contradictions and errors of fact,
especially regarding matters of physical science. A
number of people have tried to explain away these
errors. I am not impressed. If you intend to defend
Biblical inerrancy with one or more of the following
arguments, please be prepared to answer the associated
objections. You do not need to reply to answers to
objections that you don't plan to use. If you see the
Bible as containing mostly metaphor, as opposed to
literal truth, you can skip down to the section on
Biblical Metaphor.
If you claim that there are no apparent flaws in
Bible, and thus there is nothing to explain, Why do I
see flaws?
If your answer
involves a defect in my mental ability, Why is it more
likely that I suffer from this disorder than you? When
answering, please remember to address the fact that I
routinely score higher than 98% of the population on
intelligence tests. If your answer involves a lack of
faith on my part, how does this apply to Islamic
fundamentalists, who are quite willing to die for their
faith?
If your answer
involves rude comments about my parentage, please keep
it to yourself.
If you claim that the apparent flaws in the Bible
are the result of misrepresentations and passages taken
out of context:
Why is it so easy for
me to distort the word of God? Shouldn't He be able to
write more clearly?
Why should I believe
that your religion's leaders are not similarly
distorting the word of God for their own selfish gain?
If you claim the King James Version is linguistically
flawed due to archaic language and / or poor
translation:
Why did God allow this
to happen?
If God allows flaws
in some versions of the Bible, Why should we presume
that he corrected any version?
Why should I accept
your favorite version as being the one version God
decided to correct?
If you rely on "original" versions in a
variety of archaic languages, please pay special
attention to the next questions. If you claim it
requires extensive interpretation, study and research to
properly understand the Bible:
Why did God make his
word so hard to understand?
Why should I accept
your favorite interpretation as being correct?
Why not just study
nature instead, as science does? There is, after all, no
chance that nature is a fraud.
If you claim it requires divine revelation to
properly understand the Bible:
Why is your personal
revelation endorsing the Bible superior to my personal
revelation condemning the Bible?
Why should we accept
divine revelations that point to the Bible while
rejecting revelations that point to the Koran, The
Vedas, The Kalevala, or any of countless other texts?
If revelation is a
reliable source of information, why not just rely on it,
instead of a book?
If you claim apparent contradictions are the result
of metaphoric use of language:
Why did God make his
word so hard to understand?
Why should I accept
your guess as to which parts are metaphoric, and which
are literal?
When I use metaphor, I
use it to get around the limitations of language and the
human mind. If you assume God uses metaphor for the same
reason, why would he have created those limitations in
the first place? If you assume God uses metaphor for a
different reason, please explain that reason.
Occasionally people write to tell me they see the
Bible as just another inspirational work:
What do you find
inspiring about the atrocities that constitute much of
the old testament?
What do you find
inspiring about the new testament's message of eternal
damnation for those who fail to embrace exactly the
right set of beliefs?
Why should I slog
through the racism, sexism, absurdities and atrocities
to find the occasional bit of inspiration when there are
thousands of other inspirational works available?
Why should I rely on
any book for inspiration when sunsets, flowers, and big
piles of sauerkraut with wieners chopped up in them are
all readily available?
Gays:
Most Christians are
pretty nice folk, but one loathsome sort of Christian
uses the Bible to justify homophobia, gay bashing, and a
lack of compassion towards those suffering from AIDS. I
have little tolerance for this, as the tone of these
questions might suggest:
If AIDS is Gods
punishment to Gays for anal intercourse, does that mean
lung cancer is Gods punishment for smoking? Do you plan
to picket Aunt Mildred's funeral carrying signs saying
"God hates Smokers?"
If AIDS is God's
punishment for sex, why is a little piece of rubber so
effective in avoiding it? Are all sins absolved when
committed in conjunction with rubber, or just those
related to sex? Can I, for example, worship graven
images so long as they're made out of rubber?
In forty years do you
expect your views of gays be more or less embarrassing
to your grandchildren than your grandparents' views of
blacks are to you? You may, of course, skip this
question as irrelevant if you're a racist too.
Christian Metaphysics:
Christianity has some
interesting metaphysics, but there are some points that
just seem absurd:
Why did God sacrifice
Himself to Himself so that He could correct a mistake He
made Himself?
How does the
crucifixion count as an appropriate sacrifice? Jesus
spent a few hours, maybe a day, in agonizing pain; but
it was no greater pain than millions of others have
suffered. If Jesus really is God, then He knew exactly
what was happening, and exactly how long it would last.
When it was done, He supposedly ascended to heaven and
became the all-powerful ruler of the universe. This is
infinitely greater compensation than even the faithful
will receive, and infinitely less torture that the
damned will receive. With absolutely no guesswork
involved. Please reconcile these two statements:
"Without evil, there can be no good",
"God is all-good."
Please reconcile these
two statements: "With God, nothing is
impossible", "You can't be saved unless you
accept Jesus as your savior."
Extra-Credit Questions:
If you answered any
question beginning "Why did God..." by saying
it is not our place to question God, explain why you
feel free to question his decision to make me an
Atheist. List at least three ways God is better than
Santa Claus. Here's my list of ways Santa is better:
The only punishment
Santa delivers is a withholding of presents. Even at
that, he usually brings coal. Useful stuff, coal.
If you're not good
enough, Santa gives you another chance next year.
The evidence for the
existence of Santa is much stronger: I get presents from
Santa and hear radar tracking reports about Santa on the
news every year. Millions have even seen Santa, I am
among them. Even if 99.99999% of the sighting are false,
that still certain proof of Santa.
Santa doesn't care if
you believe in him, only if you're good or bad.
If there is an
afterlife, why haven't Isaac Azimov, or Carl Sagan
written books about it yet? "Paper burns" is
not an acceptable answer. Funny, in a twisted sort of
way, but not acceptable. (Lest anyone mistake my
feeling, these men were among the greatest intellects to
ever walk the face of the Earth, and I miss them both
terribly.)
Why do Christians
assume that the parable "Kissing Hank's Ass"
is about them? If the shoe fits, you need foot surgery.
If you only have time to answer one Question:
There are many books
that are so good that once I start reading them, I can't
put them down. The Bible is not one of them. How is it
that God, or an author directly inspired by God, does
not write as well as (for example) Michael Crighton?
Copyright (c) 1997, 1998 Jim Huber (jhuger@sonic.net),
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