"Merry Chris..., No, strike that. Merry Incarnation. Yes, that will fool them."
In an effort to "Keep the money flowing" by not offending the Old Covenant members who are probably the only ones still tithing, the Worldwide Church of God wants to have it both ways. They want to be able to keep Christmas and Easter but call these days something different to "fool" these Old Covenant believers.
Quote from http://www.wcg.org/lit/holidays/calendar.htm: "5. Special worship offerings are collected on Resurrection Sunday, Pentecost, the first day of the Festival of Tabernacles, the Last Great Day and the days on which Unleavened Bread, Trumpets, Atonement and the Incarnation are celebrated."
In light of the fact that the Worldwide Church of God just can't seem to bring itself to say "Christmas" or "Easter," we at The Painful Truth wish to help the Worldwide Church of God with their "New" holiday with some new Chris... er... Incarnation Day carols and poems which follow below. Contributed by Mary.
Have a Holly, Jolly Incarnation.
It's the best time of the year.I just know,
we'll give you a snow job,
so send your offerings with cheer.
Little Jack Horner
sat in the corner
eating his incarnation pie.He stuck in his thumb
and pulled out a plum
and said . . .
"First of the firstfruits! I'd better send this in!
What a good boy am I!"
Oh incarnation tree, incarnation tree,
Why are you trimmed with all those monies?Is income doing well?
Did the campus sell?
Or did you layoff more employees?We worship you,
'cuz money is,
the name of the game,
in the religion biz.Oh incarnation tree, incarnation tree,
Here's special offerings from me.
Away in a manger
a box for his bed,
Our little lord ex-minister
lays down his poor head.He lost his job,
he lost all his perks.
He lost all contact
with his fellow jerks.He wouldn't accept Jesus,
nor the new covenant.
He wouldn't join an offshoot,
too loyal for that.He really thought his church
would get back on track.
Or the world would end,
then Herbie would come back.But neither has happened
to this very day.
So he sleeps in a barn
in a box filled with hay.
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