The Monkey And The Cue Ball
A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey. He ordered a drink and while he was drinking the monkey was jumping all over the place. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them, then grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. Finally he jumped up on the pool table, grabbed the cue ball, stuck it in his mouth and swallowed it whole.
The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!" exclaimed the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finished his drink, paid his bill, and left.
Two weeks later he was in the bar again, and he had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it..
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asked.
"Now what?" responded the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" said the barkeep.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
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