Worldwide Church of God: HERBIE AND THE PYRAMIDS

Among all the biblical crap and nutty prophecies that Herbie claimed God ordered him to funnel into our already warped minds, was the preposterous idea that Job built the Pyramids. Unh unh. No way, no how and no wise. Others may believe that, just as they firmly believe that Herbie never, never, never unzipped his pants except to change them or to urinate.

Science has discovered that even the Egyptians lacked the sophisticated equipment and advanced engineering required to accomplish such a feat.

"By far and away the most magnificent & mysterious objects are the pyramids themselves. Engineers have suggested that, among other fantastic feats, there is proof of: ultrasonic drilling, electroplating, sonic levitation, and electromagnetic cranes!"

"It has long been suggested that these great structures defy all explanation regarding their construction. There are over 2 million one ton blocks in the Great Pyramid and each is cut with laser precision. They fit so tightly that you could not place a razor blade between ANY of the joints. It is estimated it would have taken 10,000 men 100 years to build a monument of this size. Even with this time scale blocks would still then have to be positioned at the rate of at least one per hour. It is also commonly accepted that it would be near on impossible to repeat this task today and inconceivable that we do it with the tools that were allegedly available to the Egyptians. The angles are too steep to simply lift the enormous blocks and to build a ramp that would enable the workman to pull blocks to the top would have been an even bigger task than building the Pyramids themselves".

And this from Alan Alford's "Gods of the New Millennium" whose book implies the Pyramids are alien-related:

"The internal construction of the Pyramid is believed to consist of a step pyramid structure, superbly engineered to withstand great vertical stress. The stone blocks are precision-cut, and matched so perfectly that the entire Pyramid fits together without the use of mortar. The stones range in weight from 2.0-2.5 tons for the limestone core blocks to 50 70 tons for the huge granite monoliths. These larger granite stones were brought all the way from the quarry at Aswan, six hundred miles to the south. Needless to say, scholars have tried desperately hard to suggest how the ancient Egyptians might have moved and erected stones of this size, but without finding a convincing answer. Modern technology would cope with these weights, but no one is seriously suggesting that the pharaohs could have designed and built such a state-of-the-art machinery. Furthermore, it is difficult to imagine that even twentieth century technology would, in practice, be able to match the Great Pyramid's incredible precision."

Alan Alford's book goes into great detail about all the Pyramids and their purpose and intent. The book is nearly 2 inches thick. His research included field trips to many countries and his explanation of mysterious wonders such as the Sphinx, the Nazca Lines, Easter Island, the Maya and more. This book is a product of over a decade's research.

But if the above was presented to Herbie in a civil and sane manner while he was still alive and perverting, he would turn purple, his jowls would quiver with rage, and he would roar out:

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